


Dark Judgement – The Infallibility of Eru.

by Glorfindel



Series: Dark Judgement [5]
Category: Lord of the Rings - Tolkien, The Silmarillion - Tolkien
Genre: Humour, M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-27
Updated: 2009-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-03 20:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorfindel/pseuds/Glorfindel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Manwë thinks that Sauron is planting subversive suggestions in Elrond's mind. Sauron denies it, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark Judgement – The Infallibility of Eru.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dark Judgement](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316) by [Glorfindel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorfindel/pseuds/Glorfindel). 



How the Valar irritate me. If I were able, I would crush them all in my grip and laugh at their pleas to save them from their agony before grinding them to a pile of bits to be eaten by feral dogs. However, I am not as strong as they are and it would merely be play acting if they seemed to succumb; I would be horrifically tortured and punished in even more novel ways than they have used before, simply because I thought that I might be able to oppose them. I am well aware of this, and yet, from time to time, they require that I open my mind to them so that they can assess how much of a risk I am.

 

There is never any warning, so I am always prepared, and it can happen at any moment. The last time it happened they asked me why I find elves so revolting and yet I adore Maglor.

 

"Simple," I replied. "I do not think of Maglor as an elf; he is too beautiful and smells too good. I do not think of Erestor as being an elf either, I think of him as my ion, even though he is not. I rather think he married beneath himself by marrying Glorfindel."

 

"Glorfindel is a fine, noble elf. If anything, he is too good for Erestor, who let us not forget was a wicked kinslayer and murderer of elflings," Manwë barked.

 

"Not in this life," I said and smirked. Manwë backhanded me, hard across the face. It changed nothing.

 

"You forced me to do that," Manwë said angrily. "You always have to have a smart answer."

 

"I don't have to always have a smart answer, I choose to," I replied. They were going to punish me anyway so I might as well go down fighting and showing them my contempt.

 

I woke later in my bed with Maglor holding my hand and Elrond peering in my face.

 

"How did you upset the Valar this time?" he asked.

 

"By existing," I replied. "It matters not; I am back so obviously they think I am not a risk."

 

"I wish they would not do this to you," Maglor said. "You are bruised and swollen everywhere. I sent for Elrond as you are so hurt. Do you feel all right?"

 

"Whoever it was who punished you, they paid particular attention to your arse," Elrond giggled.

 

"I remember nothing," I said and bit my lip. I lied. I did remember the tentacled monster they put in the same cell as me. The Valar had debated and decided that Manwë should not be allowed to punish me and this was seen as a kinder alternative. The fact that I have a pathological terror of anything with tentacles did not seem to be a factor they felt they should consider. I remember screaming and then everything went black. As a punishment it failed miserably because that was all I could remember of it. I remember hoping that they never found out this little nugget of information or else they would find a way to keep me conscious throughout.

 

I dreaded the Valar taking me in this way. It could happen at any time and I particularly remember the time when a ship was sinking in the harbour. I was thoroughly enjoying watching the elves screaming for help, laughing myself silly, when I found myself in front of the Valar with them asking why I attached such a low value to life. They ruined that day for me; it had been twenty years since a decent ship sinking. Bastards!

 

This time, I was sitting at the breakfast table with Maglor. I cut around my fried egg, so that I could put the intact yolk in my mouth and feel the runny creaminess explode in my mouth, when I found myself eggless, still sitting in my chair and in front of the Valar. I sighed.

 

"Do you know why you are here?" Manwë asked.

 

I shrugged. "Perhaps I was enjoying my breakfast a little too much?"

 

"Do not be facetious," Manwë said and slammed his fist down on the table. No doubt he hoped that I would jump, but I am not a Dark Lord for nothing. It would take a lot more than that to make me react. I sighed again; I know what irritates Manwë, and yet without being seen to be unreasonable he could do nothing about it. The other Valar were well aware of his excesses when punishing me and, like any ruler, he sought the approval of his peers.

 

"I am concerned at your friendship with Elrond," Manwë stated.

 

"You always disapprove of my friends," I said as if sulking. I noticed that Oromë tittered. He soon stopped when Manwë looked at him.

 

"You are deliberately leading him astray," Manwë said.

 

This was news to me. Elrond is one of the few elves who actually has a mind of his own and can resist my influence easily. I would not have let him be my friend if his mental capacity was as weak as other elves. No doubt it is Melian's influence that has made this so. Fëanor is another who doesn't let his mind be swayed once it is set, but that is because he is a cantankerous old git who is incredibly indulged by his sheep like family.

 

"How am I leading him astray?" I asked.

 

"Elrond is petitioning Eru for Elros and Arwen to be reborn in Valinor," Manwë said, his face red with rage because he is of a hysterical nature and finds it hard to control himself; he probably wets the bed too – he is of that type.

 

"So?" I asked, a private smirk inside me because I already knew.

 

"You put him up to it," Manwë thundered.

 

I raised my eyebrows as if mildly surprised; I am all for the subtle effect. "All right," I said as if unconcerned and shrugged my shoulders.

 

"So you admit it?" Manwë said, looking victorious and crowing with delight.

 

"Not at all," I replied and enjoyed watching his face fall. "However, you are going to blame me anyway, so let's get my punishment over with so I can get back to my rather delicious egg."

 

"No. That is not the way it goes," Manwë said. "You argued with Elrond that Eru is infallible and there is nothing he cannot do."

 

"I did indeed," I replied and smiled. "Which makes me a very good Maia."

 

"You told him straight after he told you that he still missed his brother and his daughter. You did not say your intention out loud, but the connection was planted in Elrond's mind and now he has gone to Eru and asked that he grants their rebirth here."

 

"Oh well," I said.

 

"It is not, 'Oh well'," Manwë screeched. "You have manipulated Elrond into seeking something off Eru that he cannot give."

 

"Eru is infallible," I replied. "He can do anything and everything; and so, I would say that within the rules of infallibility he can do whatever he likes. If he cannot bring Elros and Arwen to live here then that is because of limits he has set himself, not because he is incapable."

 

Manwë stared, open mouthed. "You always have an answer," he said loudly. He is absolutely right of course.

 

"Even if Elros and Arwen's fëar were destroyed he could remake them. Nothing is past the capabilities of Eru." I sounded like the almighty one's greatest acolyte.

 

"If you respect him so much then why did you seek to corrupt the whole of Middle-earth?" Manwë asked me, his voice deceptively soft.

 

"I wanted to rule Middle-earth. It is as simple as that," I replied.

 

"You sought with my brother Melkor to rule the whole of everywhere," Manwë accused.

 

"I always thought your brother overly ambitious," I told the Lord of farts. "I was perfectly happy to rule Middle-earth when your brother had gone; I told him that to seek everywhere was to ensure failure, but would he listen to me? I had no designs on Valinor because Eru would have stopped me."

 

"Are you implying that Eru does not care for those in Middle-earth?" Manwë asked, looking shocked at my seeming blasphemy.

 

"I am not implying it," I replied. "I am stating it. Otherwise the elves would still be there. Eru has offloaded it and turned his back on the continent. I would have been perfectly happy to stay and rule. After all, what did the elves do when they won their last war with me? They all sailed, that's what. What was the point of defeating me if they were all going to run off anyway?"

 

"They stayed to protect the future of the human and dwarven races from you," Manwë smirked. "When the job was done they did not need to stay any more."

 

"I doubt it," I said in a most superior tone. "They stayed because I offered them the fight. The elves love war. They sang about it, wrote about it, engaged in it and prepared for it when living in Middle-earth and what do they do now? They throw pies at one another and have a massive play fight at the end of the evening in which everyone is horribly injured and I have to cure them."

 

"Let's go back to why you suggested to Elrond that he petition Eru," Manwë said, only because he was losing the argument.

 

"I did not suggest it to Elrond," I told Manwë in a rather direct tone.

 

"He said you did," Manwë smirked.

 

I am not falling for that old chestnut. "I doubt it most strongly," I replied. "Elrond is not known to be a liar."

 

"Eru has refused Elrond's request," Manwë told me. "Elrond is not very happy and is now under the impression that Eru is not infallible. This is an impression we cannot allow him to have."

 

They told me only moments before that Elrond was going to see Eru, now they were telling me he had already been. What a shifty Vala Manwë is; he reminds me of a second-hand horse dealer. "Well see Elrond about it, not me," I said angrily. "You dig these holes for yourselves, and then go after one who has no idea what in Melkor's arsehole you are talking about and blame it on him."

 

"Such a foul mouth," Manwë smirked. "I cannot understand what Elrond sees in you as a friend."

 

"You ordered him to be my friend," I scorned.

 

"I did not think he would be so literal," Manwë admitted. I gave a sly smile; the last time Manwë had asked Elrond about me, he told him that he could never betray the confidences of a friend. "You will tell Elrond that Eru chooses not to break his rules about bringing lost fëar back to Valinor. If he did, we would have to do it for everybody, and then there would be requests for other things and it would never end."

 

"So, I was right. Eru could do it if he wanted to?" I asked.

 

"Of course," Manwë said. "But he won't."

 

"There lies the problem," I said in a most superior way. "Eru is intractable; therefore the elves get the impression that he is unable to fulfil requests. We know it is not true, but the elves are not that intelligent and cannot see that Eru would refuse a request just because he felt like doing so and for no other reason at all. I really think it is Eru's problem how he is perceived."

 

"It doesn't help with little bastards like you stirring everyone up though," Manwë hissed.

 

"If only I had that power," I sighed. This was a complete lie. I do have the power but saying it made Manwë think that I thought I did not. It is all mind games when conversing with the Valar. I sighed again for effect and shrugged helplessly. "I spend my time with Maglor and only see Elrond once or twice a week. I do not see how I can seriously influence anyone in such a short space of time. The idea had to be already there."

 

Manwë saw that he was losing. "I am going to monitor your every move from now on and listen to your every conversation. Forget talking to Elrond about this; I will do it myself. If you even mention Eru's name I will have you brought back and punished. Do I make myself clear?"

 

"Yes, of course," I replied, relieved that I was not going to be horribly attacked by a tentacled creature this time. "I have one question though. You are not going to watch me making love to Maglor, are you?"

 

"What sort of pervert do you think I am?" Manwë shouted. Actually I think he is as bad as his brother, but it was more expedient to apologise and get away without being subjected to the tentacled monster.

 

I was transported back to the breakfast table, my fork balancing in mid air with the egg yolk on it. It slid into my mouth and I burst the yolk with my tongue and felt the creamy liquid swirl around my mouth and down my throat.

 

"What shall we do today?" I asked my only one when we had finished.

 

"This," Maglor said eagerly as he sat on the rug by the window.

 

I smiled and sat behind him; with a wave of my hand the rug hovered in the air and floated through the open balcony doors. We flew over the sea at breakneck speed and watched the sea creatures playing.

 

"Weeeee!," Maglor shouted and laughed as I held him tight. "We can see forever."

 

How I love Maglor. When I am with him I can forget the politics and threats that surround me and know true happiness. I would not lose that for anything.

 

We turned back to the land and there in the distance was Taniquetil. The temptation to fly over it and drop a ton of fish poo was great. However, that would have to be done another day because there in the distance is Glorfindel eating an ice-cream and fishing for crab...


End file.
